Does the Film It Ends with Us Normalize Abuse?
A complicated message conflicts with its flowery packaging
Spoiler Alert: You've been warned!
For all intents and purposes, It Ends with Us is your standard Blake Lively vehicle. Like The Age of Adaline and A Simple Favor, it exists primarily to showcase Lively's eccentric fashion and sultry line deliveries. A little romance, a little heartache, and there's your movie. Lively is a reliably competent star - never awful, never great. A cinematic Goldilocks for when you're not looking to be challenged. So far so good.
The fly in the ointment with It Ends with Us is that it tackles the very weighty topic of abuse, and not in the rote pre-packaged sort of way. A nuanced take on the complexity of human relationships is jarringly at odds with the chick-lit vibes of this film. As such, the very dark subject of domestic violence is given a glossy coat in a manner that has left many moviegoers uncomfortable.
While the reaction is understandable, it's worth unpacking the two opposing dynamics. Each one could have worked on its own but fails in combination.
On the one hand is your usual romance novel plot. It follows Lively's character Lily Bloom who opens a flower shop. For real. How we're expected to take anything seriously after that is beyond me, but let's keep going. Lily meets a swarthy neurosurgeon (Justin Baldoni) and their steamy courtship eventually leads to marriage. Meanwhile, Lily's first love and painful past keep rearing their ugly head to destabilize her new picture-perfect life.
The previous paragraph reads like every rom-com ever rom-commed. It would have made a very adequate popcorn popper for horny wine moms. With leading men who look like they were plucked out of a telenovela, Us could have been this year’s Anyone But You, another lowbrow high cheekbone offering. Both films share the classic romantic elements of a love triangle, a sassy best friend, and a man who's scared to be loved. Rinse and repeat.
To someone's credit – Lively and Baldoni are both producers - It Ends with Us wanted to be more. Unfortunately, you can't always have what you want. When the story turns from a sexy love affair to a tale of an abusive husband, Us falters badly. It attempts to thread the needle of humanizing Baldoni's character Ryle while also maintaining a fluffy tone. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
In another movie with better actors and a better script, acknowledging that not all abusers are one-dimensional monsters would have been a thought-provoking narrative. There is never an excuse for a man hitting a woman but murderers, drug dealers, and mob bosses have long been lionized on screen as flawed heroes.
Likewise, there is room in a grown-up production to explore a couple which is mostly happy but has some really tragic moments. Many women stay in these relationships for years. Are they all fools? How do they explain it to themselves? It wouldn't be an easy story to tell, but a worthwhile one nonetheless. Us is simply not up to the task.
Through the first part of the film, Ryle's abuse is portrayed in uncertain terms, usefully preventing the viewer from getting too far out ahead of Lily as she grapples with her reality. Eventually, the abuse is laid bare, culminating in a violent rape. Tellingly, the film pulls it punches, literally, with this pivotal scene. It leaves the viewer to awkwardly read between the lines. We later see what appear to be bite marks on Lily's neck but never see the act itself.
Refusing to show scenes of explicit violence is not a bad thing. Too many modern movies revel in sadistic depictions of women's suffering. However, Us won't even relay what happens in words. There is never any verbal confirmation of the extent of Ryle’s attack.
You get the feeling this is done to soften the audience's response to Lily's subsequent actions. She allows Ryle back into her life, albeit reservedly, and keeps his unborn child.
The deliberate blurring of Ryle's worst deeds feels like a cynical response to a negative test screening. Were more graphic scenes originally included which made Lily's benign response untenable? Or maybe production tried to stay true to the original novel while muting it for a broader audience. I haven't read the book but I assume it gave a more unambiguous description of what Ryle actually did.
Either way, it is a major creative fail. Rather than choose between including or omitting the rape, production splits the baby. But you can't have your cake and beat it too. The non-climax climax only undercuts the emotional impact of Lily's later choice to find forgiveness.
To be fair, Us should be applauded for avoiding the modern Hollywood tropes of the feminist badass effortlessly dismissing toxic men who prey on her. Us does not end with Lily using her jujitsu skills to wreak vengeance on a simpering Ryle. Likewise, he is never reduced to an evil cartoon.
Still, these upgrades fall flat in a film which spends the majority of its time focused on Lively's bizarre hip hop glam fashion and goth flower shop décor. Pick a lane FFS.
Even more confusing is Lily's choice to keep her pregnancy. Her decision to carry the baby to term is shocking in the context of her exaggerated girl-boss image.
If the film is trying to make the point that even successful and intelligent women can fall prey to abuse, it comes up well short. Instead, Lily seems borderline schizophrenic. In a more sophisticated film Lily's conflicting choices could be rationalized. In this glossy fairy tale, it feels grotesque.
Blake Lively portrays Lily as a confident girl-power cliché. She struts into a crowded party happily turning every head in the room. She rebuffs advances for casual sex, stands up to bullies, and runs the coolest flower shop in Boston, all while sporting an edgy downtown look. Fine. But for this ridiculous parody of a woman to then turn around and abide a man who hits her, let alone abide his child, is nauseating.
The closing scenes of Us see Lily make peace with Ryle. He comes over to her home to build a crib with no one else in the room for protection. Then he is with her in the maternity ward as she gives birth. Finally, Ryle is holding his newborn daughter as Lily tells him she wants a divorce. Handing a violent man your minutes-old baby just as you deliver news that could enrage him is absolutely psychotic, no matter what kind of movie this is.
If you want to make a syrupy romance about sexy dresses and silly entanglements, I'm all for it. I loved Lively's The Age of Adaline. She looks great and I didn't even care that she ends up with her ex's son because it was a ridiculous fantasy. I didn't mind A Simple Favor either, even if it does hinge on an evil twin.
If you want to make a tough disturbing drama about the destructive path love can sometimes take, I'm all for it. Make me think, make me cry, make me doubt my reflexive positions. There's a reason there are no examples of this genre starring Blake Lively. She's not the actress who gets that call.
What you can't do is make both at the same time.
The worst part of It Ends with Us is that the ideal ending was right there for the taking. Lily's first love Atlas – another ridiculous name – shows up just when Ryle starts hitting her. The film uses Atlas sparingly as a human safety net and part-time McGuffin. While Lily and Atlas's eventual reunion is hinted at, it is never realized on screen.
Why not? Is it because Us is such a reputable adaptation it couldn't betray the sacred original text?? Even the Supreme Court isn't this faithful to the Constitution. What this movie should have been is Lily finding her way back to Atlas after she aborts Ryle's baby and finally works up the courage to report him to the cops.
I didn't even mention that Ryle “accidentally” killed his brother when he was six. Are we sure he's not a serial killer? Again, that would be a far more suitable ending to a movie starring Blake Lively and her countless crop tops.
In the end, It Ends with Us can't decide if it's a Hallmark movie or a Lifetime TV movie. What it certainly is not is a sober meditation on abuse and the human condition. At best it's a sober meditation on fast fashion and hot guys.
I can't wait for the sequel where Ryle molests his daughter and Lily reacts by politely informing him he can't use her Netflix password anymore. Gravitas, Blake Lively be thy name.